Young couples get into relationships for wrong rea Funny how campus girls think every dude has money; and more hilarious how some of them will get into a relationship just to earn. Relationships have become brothels and business opportunities. Guys will get into relationship for sex as ladies will do the same for money. It's hurting, if not devastating. Especially for hustlers like you.  One question though, where do these ladies think we get our money from? Siz, we are all students. But what slaps me hard is the fact that dudes get blindfolded by the 'make-uped' faces, implanted curves and fake accents that these ladies camouflage in.  On the flip side, ladies are translucently lured by these dude's vitz (men in campus drift vitz, FYI), the swaggy pants that leave a window to expose their Calvin Klein boxers and the long shirt-skirts that look like dresses. The vitz belongs to his mom and apparently he used the JAB money to buy all these clads.  True lo

Howdy, I hope this finds you on the highway. I really appreciate the good services. Thanks for starting my day with the maina and king'angi in the morning and ending it with a very blaring hip hop tunes. I stick my eyes on your screens that i forget where i am supposed to alight.  How do you manage to remember i gave you 100 shillings and not a thousand? Anyway, the change only comes after i have pestered you Couple of times.  If insults could stick on peoples faces, matatu driver's faces would be crowded with a million insults. Driving through Nairobi roads, a matatu will always make you get mad for no reason. "Now he thinks he owns the road, si achukue aende nayo." you'd hear an angry Toyota premio driver blurt, apparently the matatu forced it's way in his lane.  We enjoy the shortcuts you use to avoid the snail-pace Nairobi traffic, but not when you try squeezing on a pavement that's next to ditch. That's puting our heartbeats at a race. Th

The ban of plastic bag in the name of conserving the environment has popped so many questions in the minds of many kenyans. A good number has been left wondering how some commodities will be wrapped. Mostly foodstuffs.  Mandazis, chipo mwitu, githeri and miraa are just but a few of the foodstuffs that will, or maybe 'lack home' after August 28th. Or so to say. But what we actually forgot is that the whole enchilada is being done for our own benefit. Who wouldn't want to live in a 'healthy' environment?  Who? The speed of how kenyans really react to matters positively is what interests me the most. From the spellbinding photoshoped reactions towards the githeri man to chilobae (Ezra Chiloba) with the 'form tharry four bae' (34B) to now the ban of plastic bags, to mention but a few. Here are some of the crazy reactions towards the ban of plastic bags that I stumbled upon on social media:

I can't deny I miss you I can't hide my face And at the same time Hide my butt So I admit that I miss you And assume you also do But we only miss one thing  But we only forgot to miss one thing We miss proof And forgot to miss the evidence  Everytime my wits struggle to hold you Since my hands can't reach you  My head is heavy Due to the weight of your thoughts  I can't walk out of my heart For that's where you are My whole body is frozen Due to the cold I experience when you are gone I miss you I miss your summer tone The hot figure The hot beauty The hot you.  You bring summer in winter I miss you Come back please I miss you. 

The day had been hectic. Started with a controversial meeting, then promotions of colleagues at work (of which I stuck in my old tiresome position). Atleast the day was finally drowning. I fished out my oppo phone which i had just bought the other day, then the same night I sat on it unknowingly,  now the screen is like a spider's web.  I struggled to look at the screen. There were 8 unreal messages and 5 missed calls,  all from one person, my comptroller. I called back.  "what time are you coming from work? " that was her greetings. I sighed, then answered, "later in the hours." "okay"  "why?" I asked, but there was no reply. Only the hung up tone.  I got into my Allion then drove off to my hacienda. When i got into my compound,  I spotted a red x-trail, which resembled my "mpango wa kando's" ride. "what can she be doing here? " I wondered.  I opened  the door to my mansion tardily then tip-toed inside like a

We all need peace. And peace needs us too. 

Starting up a conversation with a girl is the hardest thing ever. I can bet my bottom dollar that most of kenyan men out here find it hard to express their feelings in an appropriate manner. Believe me, love is an art. Creativity matters bruh. Here are the top 10 pick up lines that will miraculously work. 1. I'm sorry, I don't think we've met,  I wouldn't forget such a pretty face.  If you approach any girl with this line be ready for a killer smile. Girl's love hearing positive compliments, even if it's a lie,  go on,  lie to her she's pretty. 2. Can I have directions (to where?) to your heart This will obviously  get her offguard. She will at first be ready to give directions till you finish your statement. Would she still be stingy to give directions to her heart?  not at all. 3. Can I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?  Now,  no one really knows if Angels do exist. But here we have one... Pose with her and

It is so deep in a man's wits that he has to make a woman happy. In any acceptable way. Some will take women for a nakumatting shopping. Some will prefer a date. Some will work upon a bedminton while there are those who see happiness in a club. Checking into a club with your girlfriend  may look classy if not crazy and risky. So, at the entrance you show your ID to the bouncer. It dawns on you that you forgot to tell your bae to carry her ID. Worst,  she has a baby face. Since the bouncer mistakens you for a waiter due to the many times you pop into the club,  he allows you to get in with your ID-less girlfriend, (if there's such a word in English), Ofcourse after a harsh negotiation. In the dim club atmosphere, your lightskin girl fishes out her phone and switches on the flashlight claiming she doesn't see clearly in darkness.  Shyness and embarrasment hit you so hard. The men that you always drink with nod at you from the furthest end of your 'common table.&#

"Patricia where do you stay? " Bruno popped,  tagging the message upon Patricia's past classy-looking text. The WhatsApp group had been silent and the two had discussed alot as if they were in the DM. Other participants were mute untill Patricia announced that she stays at Karen. Messages from chirande, holly weezy and coco started flowing. "Bombeee!!!" coco  exclaimed " but it's so boring to be rich." Patricia added. " How boring ?"  Bruno asked "you only feed on pizza and junk daily." came her reply, brief as a miniskirt. "you can't buy money with happiness."  chirande added. " yeah. Here at karen you only hear cars passing... No other noises." Patricia's text came with a visual part of it in every person's mind. This seemed to escalate Bruno's hunger of knowing her deeper. "am sure someone is about to tell us she goes to the washrooms in a car." Bruno chopped in, accompa